to my wonderful husband,
do NOT tell me how i am or am not handling this new situation. you aren't here.
you have NO idea what it's like to be the single parent. you have NO idea how it feels knowing that both your kids prefer their other parent. and you have NO idea how heartbreaking it is to hear "where is daddy?" whispered by your 2 year old son at 5 in the morning. nor do you have any idea how much it hurts at the same time, knowing you will NEVER live up to daddy....never be good enough.
i LOVE these kids more than anything. i'd do anything for them. i'd kill. i'd die. i'd do ANYTHING to keep them safe & make them happy. that includes living away from them for an unkown period of time.
you, m, have it easy. 25 more days & they are yours. BUT, you will have help. built-in help no less. and you will not have to say goodbye to them again. i, on the other hand, will have to say goodbye over & over & over as i travel back & forth halfway across the country numerous times to see their smiles, hear their laughter, & watch rae traipse into her new school on the 1st day.
so don't you EVER tell me again that i'm doing a piss poor job handling the situation.
i'm doing the best i can. i'm sorry if that's not good enough for you.
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5 comments:
Honey - you are both under a lot of stress. He didn't mean it how it came out. In our house, which ever parent isn't there is the one the kids want - it's just how it goes. I won't say I know it's hard because I cannot imagine what it's like - but just keep your eye on the prize babe. It will be so worth it in the end. I promise.
xoxo -
Ali I know that you are doing an amazing job. It is never easy being alone. And to add children on top of that is something I pray I will never have to do. No matter how much help and support you have you will continue to feel alone until this is over. It will be stressful and difficult and you will feel like you want to quit but remember why you are doing it and remember we all love you and support you.
crap - hang in there my friend. and you know that when they are out there and you are here they will be asking for you. it is a fun torturous game kids like to play on our hearts.
love you lots!
I have a habit of crying when Skip is gone for a weekend. So pretty much you're my hero.
The weeks will fly and you'll be back "home" with your babies!
Hang in there!
I am so sorry. I hope things get better. My son clearly favors my husband. I think it's that way for a lot of moms, sometimes.
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