up

you know how in my 100th post i mentioned that i think my life is full of polar opposites?? well, go check out the blog post title from just over a week ago. i do believe it's titled down.

and yes, this one is titled up.

i still don't need a man to make me happy.

but this post is about a man. actually men. but it'll end up being about a man. :D

where to start?

ok, also in that 100th post i mentioned that i joined match. well, i started emailing a couple guys and then texting a couple i felt comfortable with.

it boiled down to 2. J & B. i'll keep their names a secret for now....you know, protect the innocent :P

i really didn't feel like i was totally clicking with J, but he's from the same town so i kept texting anyway. then he sent an updated pic and holy crap....he's adorable :) so i agreed to go out with him this past sunday.

at the same time i was totally digging B. he lives about an hour from here but we just kinda clicked. we're both total smartasses so we had fun texting. he's cute, but he's not J. i agreed to go out with him yesterday (monday).

so here i am with 2 first dates in 2 days. awesome. and horribly stressful!!!

i decided i should get a little prettied up for these dates. so saturday i figured i'd go get my hair did, get a mani/pedi, and go shopping.

J & i were texting that morning & he mentioned he needed to get a haircut as well. (you know where this is going, right?) i figured there was no chance he'd end up where i was. i mean, there are a bunch of hair places & barbers. now, i tell my stylist everything. EVERYTHING. but i wouldn't tell her the name of my date. first of all, i wanted to make my own judgment without any influence from someone else. and second, i didn't know his last name! so i'm there with no make-up on and sporting crapped out clothes. she's straightening my hair and who walks in? oh yeah. J. i did a double take and started to flip out. now during this time, you need to know that a weirdo dude was getting a haircut as well. apparently my stylist heard someone say something about a date so she asked me if i knew the person i was going out with. i said no. well, she started dying. she was laughing & flipping out. and i got really nervous and started laughing. we were absolutely hysterical. and while we were dying, J looked over & i thought for sure he had recognized me. i was terrified he'd change his mind because i was not looking good. and while this is all going on, one of the other stylists just keeps saying my name over & over in conversation. so finally my stylist mentions something about my date being hispanic and i said no he's not. she was like what? you're not going out with that weirdo that just left? i said no, i'm going out with the hot guy in the other chair!! so we started dying with laughter all over again because we had such horrible miscommunication. we weren't just not on the same page....we weren't even reading the same book.

so J pays & leaves. i thought for sure he'd text me to cancel, but he didn't text anything at all. so i shot him a quick message that said nice to see you. and he was like what?? and then he realized i was at the same hair place. but he honestly didn't pay attention to anyone in that place and had no idea i was there. it was hilarious.

also, my stylist actually knows J from school and she told me he's a great guy and has a great family. she totally gave me her blessing. so that helped calm the nerves quite a bit. and i was able to find out his last name and fb stalk him :)

after my hair, i went and got some lovely hot pink fingers & toes and then headed to the mall for some date clothes :) i was totally ready for sunday night :)

so sunday night rolls around and J texted that he'd pick me up at my place. i told him the address and he said oh that's the gray building across from ::this certain place:: i totally freaked out. i mean, who knows that shit from an address?? turns out his best bud lives right behind me.

so, we go out for dinner. and we have great conversation. we both kind of agree that there's no point in doing this if we aren't going to be completely honest right from the start. so, knowing that his ex cheated on him, i tell him i cheated on matt. oy. bombshell #1. so then he proceeds to tell me that his divorce isn't final. whoa. bombshell #2. she won't sign the papers. they've been separated for over 2 years but she won't sign them. so now he has to wait out the 2 years since he signed them to get a judge to sign off on it without her john hancock. fml.

after dinner we went to a brewery for a quick beer (he drank his and mine b/c i hate beer!). then we went to a lake & just talked. we ended up at my place for the night. no sex though!! just cuddling in bed and talking. amazing.

so monday rolls around...and i can't stop thinking about J all day at work. but i have a date with B scheduled. so i get changed at work at the end of the day. B and i had agreed that he would text me when he got out of work (he doesn't work a regular 9-5 job like i do). but i never hear from him!!! i even gave him an extra hour. i still haven't heard from him. so, idk if i should text him or what. i mean, i'm kind of relieved at this point that we didn't go out, but still. i don't want to leave it this way if it was just miscommuniation. ugh.

anyway, so J came over & spent the night last night. we stayed up til 4 this morning. it was fabulous. and he's fabulous. he has his kids (9 year old boy, 4 year old girl) for the next week so i won't get to see him. that totally sucks. but i love that he has his kids every other week. he's a totally devoted dad. and that's amazing. he's got things in his past he isn't proud of, but so do i. so instead of focusing on that, we're focusing on the future...the part we can change.

what else do you need to know? oh, he's 35. he's from this little town. there are just a ton of coincidences...i mean, he knows my bro from high school. his best bud lives behind me. his house is about 4 blocks away from my place. he wasn't going to get back on match at all but his friends persuaded him. then he wasn't gonna talk to me bc i didn't have a pic up. then i wasn't gonna pay to be able to email on there. it's like all this crazy stuff had to happen....and it did.

and i'm so thankful right now. he's awesome. we click. it's easy with him. easy to be me. easy to be honest.

it's amazing.

and i'm totally stoked to see what happens.

that down feeling? gone. washed away. completely.

this girl has her confidence & happiness back.

life is good :)